A Mom is driving a little girl to her friends house for a play date.
"Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the
"OK," the little girl says, "How much do you weigh?"
"Now really," the mother says, "these are personal questions
Undaunted, the little girl asks, "Why did you and daddy get a divorce?"
"Those are enough questions, honestly!" The exasperated mother
"My Mom wouldn't tell me anything," the little girl says to her friend.
"Well," said the friend, "all you need to do is look
at her drivers
Later that night the little girl says to her mother, "I know how
The mother is surprised and asks, "How did you find that out?"
"I also know that you weigh 140 pounds." The mother is past surprise and shock now. "How in heavens name did you find that out?"
"And," the little girl says triumphantly, "I know why
you and daddy got
"Oh really?" the mother asks. "Why?"
"Because you got an F in sex."
Preacher is Expecting
There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby.
The preacher went to the congregation and asked for a raise. After
much consideration and discussion, they passed a rule that whenever
the preacher's family expanded, so would his pay check.